Defining Situationships

This was a hot topic on campus recently as 2017-2018 Miss Senior, Jasmin Johnson held a forum that was about defining “situationships.”

The audience and panelists came to the general conclusion that a situationship is a stage between two people who are not officially dating, but have a connection that is considered deeper than friendship. A situationship is difficult because the status of the relationship is ambiguous, which often leaves room for misinterpretation. Situationships also can lead to the infamously awkward question “What are we?”

The next question presented was: Is it possible to have an exclusive relationship at Tuskegee University?

A large majority of the participants said “no” it is not possible because we go to such a small school where everyone is familiar with one another and it is hard to have a real relationship when everyone is in your business. The naysayers also brought up the 38 per cent male to 62 per cent female ratio on campus. Basically, there are either not enough companions to go around for people who want serious relationships, or an excess of choices for males who want more than one lover. On the contrary, some people said “yes” it is possible. If you and that person are intentional in your relationship and know that what you have is real, then the opinions of other people should not matter and you should not do anything that will give them motive to talk negatively.

We also discussed how people can turn situationships into relationships. The dominant answer for that question was that it has to be by the will of both parties. Both people have to want to take it to the next level because if not, someone is going to be strung along and end up with hurt feelings.

The next question was submitted anonymously by an audience member. This person wanted to know why men think situationships are okay. Surprisingly, the women said that men think it is okay to stay in situationships because females entertain the idea of giving their all to a guy before even being claimed as a girlfriend. If women are willing to accomodate in a situationship, what will they have to offer in a real relationship? The men completely agreed. They feel like if a girl is okay with playing the girlfriend role without the girlfriend title, they will not interrupt a system that is working.

We were then asked is it ever okay for a woman to be a side chick; here is where things got intense. One of the ladies in the audience said sometimes, it is better to be the woman on the side because the man will still spend money on you, take you out and in some cases; even treat you better than his actual partner. Some guys answered that if a girl is okay with being a side chick, then why not use her to play that position. Another young lady rebutted both those opinions and said that if you lay down with dogs, you are bound to get up with fleas. She felt that karma is real and once someone who was ruining other relationships by cheating finally finds the right person for a monogamous relationship, those bad vibes can boomerang right back on the guilty party. In other words, an outsider with a player mentality can easily come into their lives and cause the player the same kind of grief he or she caused others to suffer. A Majority of the audience agreed with her.

It was so interesting to be exposed to different perspectives on the dating scene here at Tuskegee University. This forum definitely provoked thought and gave us insight into thoughts and perspectives concerning the opposite sex.